


A Kiss for Your Silence

by littledemon66



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Fluff, M/M, Self-Indulgent, Superheroes, Swearing, its not south park without cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29032683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littledemon66/pseuds/littledemon66
Summary: Mysterion and Professor Chaos decide to team up to defeat the Coon. But during one of their missions, Mysterion accidentally promises that he'll kiss Chaos if the villain can actually shut up for once.
Relationships: Kenny McCormick/Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Mysterion/Professor Chaos (South Park)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 87





	A Kiss for Your Silence

For some odd reason or another, Mysterion found himself working alongside Professor Chaos. The Coon had started rising up as a potential villain. Mysterion was fully aware that the Coon wasn’t… hero material, but he assumed that as long as being a hero had benefits, he wouldn’t switch sides. But apparently the Coon thought that being a villain had more going for it, so he was starting to commit crime.

During a particular fight with the Coon, Mysterion had seen Chaos showing up as well to fight. But instead of targeting him like the hero thought, Chaos was attacking Coon. After that day, Mysterion still kept his rivalry with Chaos up, going to fight him at least once a week. Which is how he found himself in his current situation.

He was breaking into Chaos’ lair after getting information that the villain was planning something major. But what he found instead was Chaos rushing out. Mysterion grabbed the villain by the arm, pulling him closer. Chaos looked surprised, as if he had no idea the hero was even there.

“Mysterion? Wh-What are you doing here?” Chaos asked, eyes darting around. Probably looking for one of his minions.

“If you think I’m about to let you go out and do something, you’re delusional.” Mysterion tightened his grip on Chaos’ arm.

“Ugh-” Chaos pulled his arm from Mysterion’s grasp-“it’s not for evil. I’m going after Coon today.”

“What? Is he up to something?” Mysterion narrowly refrained from grabbing the villain’s arm again.

“Disarray found some info, so I’m going out to check.” Chaos paused, biting his bottom lip. “Do you wanna come with me? We worked pretty well together before.”

Work alongside Chaos? Well, they did work unexpectedly well together last time. And Mysterion didn’t absolutely hate Chaos’ presence. And if Chaos was lying to him or tried to pull any bullshit, he could just knock him out.

“Fine.” Chaos grinned at Mysterion’s agreement. “But just this once. Don’t expect this to be a regular thing.”

“I can only dream, sweetie.” Chaos dragged his thumb over Mysterion’s chin. The hero swatted the other’s hand away.

“Don’t touch me,” Mysterion snapped.

“ _ Sigh _ , you’re so uptight.” Chaos looked mildly inconvenienced.

“Never say ‘sigh’ out loud ever again either.” Mysterion was really starting to regret not just beating the shit out of the villain.

“Okay, okay.” Chaos sighed. “Shall we get going then?”

“Do you even know where you’re going?” Mysterion didn’t actually doubt that Chaos knew where he was going. He only really asked to rile the villain up.

“Of course I do!” Chaos grabbed Mysterion’s hand and started to drag him along. “Just follow me.”

Mysterion wanted to yank his hand back. But he didn’t. If a small smile graced his lips and the warmth of the villain’s hand felt good in his, no one had to know. So he let Chaos lead him by the hand. The villain was talkative, rambling about who knows what. Mysterion was always more of a listener, and Chaos knew that.

A few minutes of walking later, Chaos stopped in front of an abandoned building. It was about 3 stories tall, but it was rundown and looked like it hadn’t been used in years.

“This is the place,” Chaos said. “Heard the Coon got minions to set something up here.”

“Anything I should know about?” Mysterion asked. If the Coon was planning something major, he would definitely need all the info he could get.

“Nothing major, doll.” Chaos winked at him. Mysterion couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the gesture and the pet name. “If he did anything big, you’d be the first to know.”

“Not very villain-esque of you to rat on other villains to a hero.”

“Having too many villains around is bad for business, honey. Plus, if there were more villains, you wouldn’t pay attention to me anymore.”

“Of course it’s for selfish reasons.”

“Of course! I’m a villain after all.”

“Figures…”

“Anyways, we just gotta go in there and stop Coon’s minions from doing their jobs.”

“So you want me to kick their asses?”

“Essentially.”

“You’re helping though. I’m not doing all the work.”

“I would  _ never _ let you do all the work!”

“Ugh, just hurry up.”

Mysterion and Chaos entered the abandoned building quietly, as to not alarm any minions that might have been standing guard. Thankfully, albeit a little strange, there were no minions around. They explored the first floor of the building, which ended up being empty. Mysterion was about to ask Chaos if he was sure this was the right place when he heard a thud coming from above him.

“Someone’s upstairs,” Mysterion said, looking up at the ceiling. Chaos looked over at him from where he was standing.

“Oh, you’re so smart, Mysty.” Chaos closed the drawer he had been shuffling through.

Mysterion ignored the comment and quietly made his way towards the stairs. He stood at the bottom of the staircase and listened. If he strained his ears, he could faintly hear people upstairs talking.

“Let’s go.” Mysterion took his gun out and held it in his hands. Just in case they were noticed, Mysterion would be ready to fire non lethal shots if the people upstairs were armed.

He went up the stairs with Chaos right behind him. When the hero glanced behind him, he saw Chaos holding his taser. But what surprised him the most was the villain’s expression. For the entire time Mysterion knew of Chaos, the villain’s expression had always been a smile or somewhat flirty. But now, Chaos’ face was completely serious, lips pressed together in a grim line and eyes focused.

When Chaos noticed Mysterion looking at him, his serious expression melted into a wink and a flirty smile. If Mysterion hadn’t seen his earlier expression, he wouldn’t have believed Chaos was even capable of being serious.

“You’re staring,” Chaos whispered, clearly holding back a laugh.

Mysterion blinked once. Had he been staring? He could have sworn he only glanced at Chaos for a second. It didn’t matter. Mysterion tore his gaze from Chaos to the stairs in front of him. He continued going up the stairs, stopping at the top step. 

Thankfully, the people on the floor were too busy to notice him. The floor was mostly empty except for the few people that were there and a handful of boxes. He stayed quiet and eavesdropped on the conversation two people were having.

“Is this the last one?” One of the people asked, placing the box in their hands down.

“I think so. When do we even get paid?”

“Ugh, don’t ask me. Last time I asked, the bitch just said ‘soon’ like some cryptic piece of shit.”

“What an asshole. And what kind of a name is ‘the Coon’ anyway? Sounds so dumb.”

“Fitting, isn’t it?”

The two supposed Coon minions shared a laugh. Mysterion quietly placed his gun back in his holster. These two didn’t seem like a threat. They seemed to hate the Coon, so they might be more inclined to give him information.

Mysterion was about to interrupt, but Chaos put a hand on his shoulder. Mysterion glared at him. What the hell did he want?

“What exactly are you planning?” Chaos asked. “Going to fight them for info?”

“You got a better plan?” Mysterion snapped back. This was one of the things he hated about Chaos. He could never get to the point fast enough.

Chaos poked Mysterion’s nose. “You’re so cute. Watch and learn, love.”

He watched as Chaos slipped past him and stood at the top of the stairs. The villain raised his hands and loudly clapped twice. All conversations dropped and everyone in the room turned to look at Chaos.

“Hello, everyone! I hear you’re all Coon’s employees.” Chaos lowered his hands. The minions all glanced at each other warily.

“Employees is one way to say it,” one of the minions said. “We don’t even get paid minimum wage.”

“Really?” Chaos put a hand over his mouth. “No insurance either?”

“Insurance?” Another minion barked out a laugh. “Course not.”

“Well, that won’t do at all! Employees should be getting paid fairly for their work.” Chaos shook his head.

“Tell that to the raccoon rip-off,” another minion scoffed.

“You know what? I will!” Chaos grinned. “Where can I find him? It’s about time we had a talk.”

Again, the minions all looked at each other and began to murmur. Chaos stood there in silence as he waited for the minions to answer his question. Soon, they all fell silent again.

“You’ll really talk to him?” One minion asked apprehensively.

“Of course I will! I may be a villain but I believe in paying people what they deserve,” Chaos promised.

“He set up base a few streets away. In a building that looks kinda like this. He has his face printed all over it too. You can’t miss it,” a minion finally answered.

“Is that so?” Chaos hummed. “Well, thank you! I’ll go have a nice chat with him. And you all can stop working. I wouldn’t want you to be doing unpaid labor.”

With that, Chaos smiled and walked back to the stairs. Mysterion watched as the minions stopped what they were doing and started talking.

“Wasn’t that so much easier than fighting all of them?” Chaos asked, nudging Mysterion with his elbow. They descended down the stairs together.

“I guess so,” Mysterion grumbled. He didn’t like admitting that the villain was right, but he had to give credit where it was due.

“Oh, I couldn’t hear you. Can you say that again?” Chaos teased. “Did you say that I was right?”

“You’re so annoying,” Mysterion said.

“Annoying? But I completely avoided a fight! I think that’s worth a reward.” Chaos tapped his lips. “How about a kiss?”

“You  _ wish _ .” Mysterion rolled his eyes. No matter how nice Chaos seemed, he always said shit like that that made any good opinions disappear.

“C’mon, I did such a good job back there! Just a little kiss. Please?” Chaos whined.

“Maybe if you shut the fuck up, I’ll kiss you,” Mysterion blurted out. Wait, what did he just say?

“Wh-” Chaos stopped walking. “Promise!?”

“I-” Mysterion paused and looked at Chaos. Well, fuck it. Why not? Chaos was cute. “Yeah.”

Chaos’ visible eye light up. He took a breath to say something but stopped. He slapped a hand over his mouth and grinned. They continued walking in silence towards where the minion had said Coon’s base was.

For some reason, the unnatural silence from Chaos bothered him. He thought that if the villain ever shut up, he would actually be able to think. But now that he got his wish, he was uncomfortable. The silence was almost deafening.

He looked over at Chaos as they walked. How long was he going to actually stay silent? He really hoped it wouldn’t be for much longer. A silent Chaos wasn’t the one he was used to. Nor was it the one he liked. Liked? No, not liked. Tolerated. He didn’t  _ like _ Chaos. Absolutely not.

As Mysterion was about to make a turn, he felt something grab his cape. He looked over and saw Chaos tugging on it. He pointed in the other direction and tugged on Mysterion’s cape again.

“That way?” Mysterion asked and Chaos nodded. “You’re sure?”

Chaos rolled his eyes and nodded again. He pulled his cape so that Mysterion was forced to follow the villain. Once he was walking in the right direction, Chaos slowed his pace so that Mysterion was walking in front.

As they walked, Mysterion felt another tug on his cape. Looking back at Chaos, he saw the villain making puppy dog eyes at him. He couldn’t help but stare incredulously at the sight. Here was this villain that was capable of electrocuting someone to death, who  _ had _ electrocuted him to death plenty of times in the past, tugging on his cape and begging for a kiss.

Mysterion willed himself to look away. The sight of Chaos pouting and pleading with his eyes was too much for his heart to handle. A few minutes passed and Chaos had not let up. He was still tugging on Mysterion’s cape, not hard enough to hurt but enough for the hero to notice it every time, and making puppy dog every time Mysterion looked at him. It was getting increasingly harder to ignore the villain. Should he just kiss him now? But he wanted to see how long the villain could keep quiet.

Then Mysterion felt a sharp and sudden tug on his cape, followed by Chaos’ muffled voice. Did he just trip? The hero smothered a laugh.

“Don’t yank that hard,” Mysterion said, readjusting the cape’s knot on his neck. That actually hurt a little bit. He kept walking, not saying anything about Chaos tripping.

A minute of walking passed and there was a distinct lack of tugging on his cape. Did Chaos actually stop? He turned to look and stopped when he was met with nothing. Where was Chaos? He could’ve sworn that he was here just a minute ago. His heart dropped in panic.

Where the fuck was Chaos?

He wouldn’t have run off without him, right? No, Chaos wasn’t like that. If he wanted to go somewhere, he would have at least tugged on his cape and pulled him in a different direction. Then he remembered the sharp tug and muffled swear from earlier.

Shit.

Chaos didn’t just wander off. He was grabbed and taken. Probably by Coon or his minions after the other villain had found out about what happened in the abandoned building. Mysterion ran back from where he had just come from, yelling out Chaos’ name. He stopped at the alley where he remembered Chaos yanking his cape. He stared into the alleyway, scanning it for any signs of a struggle.

Then he saw a piece of green fabric that looked oddly similar to Chaos’ cape. Before he knew it, he was running into the alley.

~~~~~

After following the path, Mysterion stumbled upon the Coon’s base. It was just like one of the minions had described it. The Coon’s face was plastered all over the entrance, so Mysterion knew he was in the right place. If his guess was right, Chaos was here. If he was wrong, then he could just have to keep searching the town until he found the villain.

Mysterion pulled his gun out and kicked the front door down, not having the patience to open it normally.

The Coon looked towards him in surprise, like he wasn’t expecting him to even be there. Mysterion looked around the room and his gaze fell onto Chaos, who was in a small cell. Chaos looked panicked at the sight of him. Mysterion let out a heavy sigh of relief. He sent a whisper of thanks to any god that was listening.

“Oh hey Mysterion,” The Coon said. “Your little boyfriend was just telling me about this silence thing and how much he hated it.”

Chaos banged his hands against the bars of the cell, but didn’t say a word. He shook his head violently.

“You wouldn’t believe the amount of shit he’s been talking about you too.” The Coon continued on as if he didn’t hear Chaos.

If Mysterion had been in a better mood, he would have let the Coon monologue. But he still hadn’t calmed down from his earlier panic. So Mysterion marched right up to the Coon and grabbed him by the collar, pointing his gun right at his temple.

“The key to that cell or your life,” Mysterion growled. The Coon immediately stopped talking, looking back and forth between the barrel of the gun pointing directly at him and Mysterion’s face.

“Okay, okay. I’ll give you the key. But only if you-”

Mysterion didn’t let the Coon finish his sentence. He shoved the barrel of the gun onto the Coon’s temple and placed his finger over the trigger.

“The key. Or. Your life.” Mysterion was not in the mood for the Coon’s bullshit. Not when he thought he had lost Chaos.

“Okay, okay!” The Coon reached in his pocket to retrieve the key. Mysterion watched with narrowed eyes.

Mysterion let go of the Coon’s collar and lay his hand out flat. The Coon dropped the key in the hero’s outstretched palm.

“There’s your fucking key.” The Coon muttered.

“Now get the fuck out of here if you know what’s good for you.” Mysterion moved the gun away from his head and walked over to the cell Chaos was watching the whole exchange in.

He unlocked the cell quietly, listening to the Coon run out of the building. Mysterion swung the cell door open, looking at Chaos’ face. He looked shocked, not moving an inch from where he was standing.

Chaos looked like he wanted to say something–he probably had a lot to say–but he stayed silent. Mysterion wanted nothing more than to hear Chaos’ voice again.

So he stepped forward and leaned in to kiss Chaos. He felt the villain tense under him. Just as Mysterion was about to pull away, Chaos’ lips softened and he felt two arms embrace him. They stood there for a few moments, just standing there in each other’s presence.

Then Mysterion pulled away and looked at Chaos’ blushing face. He looked like he was at a loss for words.

“You can talk now,” Mysterion said with a smile.

When Chaos still didn’t say anything, Mysterion’s smile dropped. Shit, was he injured? Mysterion began to check Chaos for injuries.

“So…” Chaos finally said. “You were worried about me?”

“ _ Yes _ ,” Mysterion said exasperatedly. “Yes, I was really worried.”

Chaos’ cheeks went red again. Mysterion started planting butterfly kisses all over his face. His cheeks, his nose, his forehead. Chaos let out a shaky laugh.

“This is kinda gay,” Chaos commented. “You sure you don’t like me?”

“Would I kiss you if I didn’t like you?” Mysterion asked, leaning in for another kiss. This time, it was longer and softer.

When they pulled away, Mysterion relished in the way that he was the one who caused Chaos’ embarrassment.

“You came in while I was telling him to pay his people,” Chaos said. “Now I have to go out and find him again.”

“Let’s go then. That asshole couldn’t have gotten far.” Mysterion put his hand out. Chaos stared at it in awe and took it.

They left the building, hand in hand, and started their search for the other villain. Chaos started to ramble about how great Mysterion looked while threatening the Coon. Then he began to ramble about how hard it was for Chaos to stay quiet for that long and how much he wanted to talk before. Instead of telling him to shut up as he normally would, Mysterion listened to what the villain had to say. He smiled as he listened to the other man’s voice.

It wasn’t something he would take for granted anymore. He loved listening to Chaos and he wouldn’t change that for anything in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> AAAAA I finally got this out of my system sadfgh its been rotting in my wips for AGES  
> anyways,,, drop a kudos and comment!! they validate me so much and it helps motivate me to keep writing <3333  
> please im so starved for comments im begging dsfghgdsfh


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